Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
