wrigley field is MILF paradise
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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