I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
