can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
