Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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