Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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