I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
