I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
