so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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