I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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