Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
