if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
