you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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