She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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