You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
