Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Text me some of your sweat
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