Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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