She's JV to your varsity
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
