people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
