dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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