big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
