I can tuck mytits in my pants
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
