no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
