grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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