my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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