He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Even my vagina gasped.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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