my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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