well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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