the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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