I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
