do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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