I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
