you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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