dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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