I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
