Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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