I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
