I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
