She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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