We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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