pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize