are you still at the devil's house?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
