i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
