she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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