your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
