I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
