Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
