I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
