i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
