Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Randomize
