i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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