THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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