hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
