so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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