I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
