I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
