DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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