Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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