love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
