I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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